Motherhood. Some days, I just don't enjoy it.
(Cue the gasps, condemnation, dirty looks)
I LOVE my kids. I love them more than life itself. I couldn't ever imagine not being their mommy. But there are days that I am weary. There are days I want to scream. There are days, in between the monotony of cooking, cleaning, picking up, changing diapers, laundry, errands, appointments, housework, teaching, playing referee, so on and so forth, I find myself wondering, "Isn't there something more?"
My husband has an amazing heart and he has had some great opportunities to go and travel doing ministry and humanitarian work. When opportunities come my way, as much as I would love to take them, I turn them down, simply because I would have no one to take care of the kids 24-7 to pursue those things.
I don't mean to complain--ok, that's a lie, I do mean to complain--but pity party aside, I have to be honest with you and with myself. I am not supermom. And that is okay.
In Hebrews 4:15 it says, "This High Priest [Jesus] of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet He did not sin." (NLT)
God knows my heart and understands what I'm struggling with. Even though He has given me the gift of being a mom, He doesn't condemn me when I just want to run away for a few hours and not tell anyone where I am.
I realize that I may be opening up myself for criticism, but my hope is that in being transparent, I can encourage another mom out there who is feeling the same way. If you are a mom and feeling like you want to run away too, let me just encourage you to hang in there! On those tough days, go to God and pour your heart out to Him. Sounds overly religious, I know, but it honestly helps by being able to get it all out. What I'm saying is this- don't keep it inside or pretend that you've got it all together. You and I both know you don't. No one does. And that is okay.
Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. It is a HUGE calling, and even though it has many moments of brilliance and glory, there are times of frustration and discouragement too. But you aren't alone in those moments! Hang in there and BE FAITHFUL to what God has called you to. It's tough, but we got this! I'll finish this post the way the author finishes up Hebrews chapter 4, and I find it incredibly fitting...
"So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." (NLT)
(Deep breath) Back at it...
