I feel my faith is being tested. A few days ago my heart was filled with so much faith and hope, I felt I could move mountains (and one large one in particular).
But now, that faith is tested and my hope has faded. I look in front of me and that mountain is still there. In fact, it hasn't moved an inch.
I have been praying and seeking, seeking and praying, asking God to show up. I want to yell out in frustration, "NOTHING!! All this time and still NOTHING!!"
But yet in my spirit, instead of an exclamation point at the end, I hear myself say, "Nothing?" I'm not so sure that's the reality of it.
Deep down in this time of darkness, a small light remains. It isn't a flame burning brightly or even flickering. More like the small bit of orange that's left on the wick when you blow out a candle, right before it completely goes out. The winds of time and life have blown on my candle of hope so much over the past year that the flame of faith is almost out. But despite that, I can't dismiss that small certainty that knows Who my God is. He is a God who can change things in a moment. He is a God who is faithful, even when I am faithless. He is a God who keeps His promises. He is a God who is always there. As much as my emotions want to scream NOTHING!, my heart just doesn't believe it.
"God brings death and God brings life, brings down to the grave and raises up. God brings poverty and God brings wealth; he lowers, he also lifts up. He puts poor people on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope..." 1 Samuel 2:6-9 (The Message)
I don't see my mountain moving, but I have to know that God is moving.
